Essays and notes
Writing
Commentary and analysis on UK higher education finance and regulation, and on artificial intelligence in universities.
Essays
12 piecesLonger pieces on higher education finance, governance, regulation and the ethics of artificial intelligence.
Ethics in Artificial Intelligence: Yes, There Is a Problem
Artificial intelligence has catapulted from the plaything of graduate students to the digital weather system that now soaks every corner of the economy. The upsides are dazzling; the downsides, well, they're the reason you're reading this article instead…
Why Can't We Be Friends? Universities and the £1.5 Billion Collaboration Challenge
UK universities could save £1.5 billion through collaboration, but pyramid politics and cultural feudalism keep them competing over stationery while students foot the bill.
Cheaper, Easier, Efficienter? The Curious Tale of UK Universities and Private Contractors
Fifteen years after ministers promised that private partnerships would revolutionise British higher education, we ask: who actually made any money? Spoiler alert: nobody ends up bathing in gold coins, but at least the catering's cheaper.
How to Murder a University: A Guide to Institutional Death
A UK university cannot simply press CTRL-ALT-DELETE and vanish. Here's what actually happens when institutions reach the end of the financial road.
Who Actually Owns a University (and Why Treating One Like a Corner Shop Is a Terrible Idea)
Universities belong to exactly the same person who owns Stonehenge and the Shipping Forecast: nobody in particular and everyone in theory. They're magnificent, slightly aloof, and impossible to sell on eBay.
Flatpacks, Not Ivory Towers: A Blueprint for Community-First Campuses
British universities have morphed into Versailles-sized palaces of PowerPoint where the managerial pyramid grows faster than academic staff. Time to flatten the hierarchy and trust the people who can actually spell phenomenology.
Fixing Universities: A Collective Approach to Financial Crisis
Universities in the UK are in financial trouble. Instead of individual cost-cutting that shrinks institutions, the sector could save billions through collective action and smarter revenue diversification.
Beyond the Balance Sheet: Why UK Universities Need a Busyness Model
Calling a university's strategy its 'business model' is like calling the Royal Opera House a karaoke bar. Universities need a busyness model focused on public value, not just profit margins.
Governmental Shrugs: When Car Factories Matter More Than Universities
Westminster rushes to save 1,300 car jobs at Lotus but shrugs at 10,000 university redundancies. Apparently some independent organisations are more independent than others.
When Jargon Stops Clarifying and Starts Chloroforming the Truth: A Brief Rant About 'Rightsizing' in UK Universities
67 UK universities have redundancy schemes running, but they're calling it 'rightsizing.' It's time to sack the euphemism and interrogate the plan.
Stop Calling Everything 'Slop': Build a Smarter AI Quality Checklist
The term 'AI slop' has become a lazy catch-all for any machine-assisted work. Here's a detailed taxonomy for more precise AI quality assessment—because clear language is the first step toward cleaner machine-made work.
Why I'm Staying Away from UK Higher Education—For Now
After spending most of my life inside universities, I find myself on the outside looking in—and I don't plan to go back any time soon. Here's why the current state of UK higher education is pushing talent away.
Notes
27 piecesShorter analysis, most of it published first on LinkedIn and archived here so it remains readable and citable.
How UK research funding actually works
If you have ever wondered how UK research funding works, you are not alone.
The OfS has a rule about university accounts
The Office for Students (OfS) has a rule about university accounts. A real one. Not a “best endeavours” one. Not a “when you get round to it” one. An actual condition of being on the register 📜.
Red University Day
🔴 It’s Red University Day. 🔴 I have already posted the “I’m only mildly alarmed” (🟢) and “I’m checking the exits, but calmly” (🟠) lists.
The green and green-ish universities
Last week I posted a list of the green (and green-ish) universities I have the least concern about financially. It was, depressingly, a short list. The amber list, by contrast, is rather longer.
What the £925 international student levy is really for
The £925 levy on international students is not about "Investing in domestic students" or "vital financial support".
Every student a copilot: the campus AI deals
Universities are busy signing big AI deals to give every student a "copilot" or "study assistant" 🤖.
Universities keep telling me they want to be \"AI-first\"
Universities keep telling me they want to be "AI-first". Then you look at the workload model, the promotion criteria and the risk register… and AI is nowhere to be seen.
The grim comedy at Staffordshire
There is a distinct grim comedy in the reports emerging from Staffordshire University this week.
Every era had its obvious degree
Every era had its “obvious” degree. In 1350, you studied theology to save your soul. In 1850, you studied classics to run the Empire. In 1995, you studied business to get a nice office and a pot plant.
The death of higher education, greatly exaggerated
The death of higher education has been greatly exaggerated, again.
UK research funding is being quietly rebuilt
UK research funding 🇬🇧 is being quietly dismantled and rebuilt while most universities 🏛️ look the other way.
A high-stakes online exam on ChatGPT, sat with ChatGPT
Set a high-stakes, online exam on “Natural Language Processing & ChatGPT” for 600 students and you have not designed an assessment; you have announced a public challenge to the very people best
The quiet write-off of unpaid international tuition
UK universities are quietly writing off millions in unpaid international tuition – and in some cases it's wiping out over 10% of their fee income in a single year. Here is the uncomfortable version.
Inflation link versus market rate
Inflation Link vs.
More meh than menace?
More "meh" than menace? The Pew people just published their global survey on AI hopes and fears. 🌍😐 It doesn't deliver the doom or the drum-roll many expected.
Do you recognise this face?
Do you recognise this face? The suspect is 58 years old (on average), male (in two thirds of sightings), and of North European ethnicity (98%). Often goes by the name of Andy, Peter, Paul or Steve.
UCL learns the cost of overbooking
University College London isn’t a budget carrier, but it just learned the cost of overbooking. Extra visas have opened the gate; the question is why it got this far.
Computer says yes: why I would rather be fired by an AI
Computer says yes: why I’d prefer to be fired by AI I was made redundant by a panel so mysterious it made the REF panel look like Eurovision. No minutes. No rationale.
Scrap the fee cap tomorrow and £9,250 does not gently adjust
Scrap the university fee cap tomorrow and £9,250 doesn’t gently adjust to inflation - it straps on a jetpack. To be clear up front: complete price deregulation is not coming to the UK.
UK universities are still on a knife-edge
UPDATED: UK universities are still on a knife-edge. Thanks for all your comments.
Ten universities most likely to be merged or subsumed
Here’s my opinionated take on the top ten UK universities most likely to be merged or subsumed in the next 2–3 years.
AI is in a terrible hype cycle
AI is in a terrible hype cycle. The bubble is inflating fast with no revenue in sight. So why am I still so excited? 🤔 🤷 I shouldn’t be.
What is AI actually for?
Amidst artificial intelligence hype, how many hypers have answered the question, 'what exactly is "intelligence"?' Pop-philosopher and Silicon Valley icon, Nick Bostrom, certainly hasn't, in his
Are graduate salaries the wrong way to measure universities?
❓ Are graduate salaries the wrong way to measure universities? 🎓 Everyone’s talking about the LEO data on graduate outcomes.
Britain's “crazy doctors” problem
Britain’s “crazy doctors” problem The challenges facing international students are just the tip of the iceberg.
Deficits down here, pay packets up there
If 40% of providers are in deficit, why are vice-chancellor packages still drifting north of £341k?
The Jenga piece nobody dares touch
They’re the Jenga piece you daren’t touch, the quiet support holding up a rickety tower. They’re the espresso shot in a gallon of lukewarm latte.
Also available as an RSS feed.